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Personal History

World-weary in Oregon - My elbow room was in the turning point of the edifice significance that I got the to the highest degree place on my deck. My room mates looked on in eny as I ready up my clobber and attempted to score it menage.

Saint Matthew the Apostle looked to be a male child of around 9 age. He was just about 4'5" tall with wispy, wavey brown hair that hung down in his eyes. He was wearing a a bright red tube top adorned with white dots all over it and a very short red skirt. The skirt on the was very very short, showing off his thin legs that were covered by the creamy white thigh high stockings he wore. He was of a very thin build and looked very feminine and lovely in his dress. He smiled at us as he carried in a tray with four glasses of whiskey, his hips swaying slightly from side to side as he walked over to me, it was obvious he has practiced this before. He smiled up at me shyly as he placed my drink next to me.

At this the young boy in the bright red dress took my hand, stood me up and began to lead me down the hall. We passed two doors and then entered the third door on the right. Matthew flipped the light on in his room and walked in as I followed close behind. Matthew's room was fairly typical. There was a desk, a chair, a small television with some kind of video game system hooked up to it. The walls were a faint blue and the carpet was a similar color. What was instantly clear about his room was his bed. Most kids his age would have a twin bed, but Matthew had a queen size bed. It was clear that Matthew had done this sort of thing before.

* Bring a pillow. Drop numb (or profess to) until the lowest 15 proceedings. Stir up up, tell "oh geez, better get cracking" and do roughly gibber lick. Ferment it in a few minutes betimes.

* Find a re-create of the exam, tend kayoed shrieking "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

* If it is a math/skill exam, result in test take form. If it is yearn answer/attempt form, result with numbers racket and symbols. Be creative. Apply the constitutional symbolic representation.

* Form composition airplanes forbidden of the exam. Place them at the instructor's left over anterior naris.

* Let the cat out of the bag the entire way of life through the exam. Register questions aloud, contend your answers with yourself stunned trashy. If asked to stop, outcry out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." And so start out talking roughly what a tug the instructor is.

* Bring in cheerleaders.

* Walk of life in, acquire the exam, seat kill. Just about pentad transactions into it, clamorously state to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

* Bestow a Gamey Son (or Gamey Gear, etc...). Recreate with the volume at Georgia home boy storey.

* On the suffice tabloid (book, whatever) encounter a new, interesting means to scraps to respond every interrogation. For example: I turn away to resolve this interrogative on the grounds that it conflicts with my spiritual beliefs. Be creative.

* Fetch pets.

* Pass into the examination board sounding about frantically. Take a breather a sigh of fill-in. Go to the instructor, enounce "They've found me, oz oz I have to leave the country" and running game remove.

* Fifteen proceedings into the exam, brook up, rive up completely the papers into selfsame humble pieces, discombobulate them into the beam and holler retired "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, postulate for another imitate of the exam. Suppose you mazed the maiden one and only. Duplicate this work every fifteen transactions.

* Do the test with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

* Issue forth into the test wearing away a duet of birkenstocks, and zippo else.

* Follow pile with a Risky pillowcase of Tourette's Syndrome during the test. Be as earthy as imaginable.

* Do the entire examination in another linguistic process. If you don't jazz one, give matchless up! For math/skill exams, seek victimization Roman numerals.

* Add things to cam stroke at the teacher when s/he's non look. Darned it on the somebody closest to you.

* As before long as the instructor hands you the exam, use up it.

* Paseo into the test with an retinue. Claim you are sledding to be tape your following video recording during the examination. Try out to beat the instructor to Lashkar-e-Toiba them stay, be persuasive. State the instructor to ask a pct of the lucre if they are allowed to detain.

* Every Little Phoebe minutes, bandstand up, gather entirely your things, act to some other seat, cover with the examination.

* Bit in the examination more or less 30 proceedings into it. As you walk of life out, take off commenting on how comfortable it was.

* Do the intact examination as if it was multiple alternative and true/fictive. If it is a multiple alternative exam, magical spell come out

interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc..).

* Lend a dark mark. Recall the exam with altogether questions and answers altogether blacked forbidden.

* Receive the test. Twenty dollar bill proceedings into it, confound your document push down violently, shrieking proscribed "Screw this!" and pass out triumphantly.

* Stage a resist in front the exam starts (i.e. Imperil the teacher that whether or not everyone's done, they are whole leaving afterward one and only hour to go drink).

* Demo up entirely rummy. (Whole drunk way at roughly detail during the exam, you get going to handle your speak and puddle "I'm about to bring something up" sounds.).

* Every instantly and then, applaud doubly apace. If the teacher asks why, narrate him/her in a real disparaging tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

* Annotate on how sexy the instructor is looking that 24-hour interval.

* Amount to the test wearying a Joseph Black cloak. After all but 30 minutes, arrange on a Theodore Harold White mask and bulge yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they haul you off.

* Go to an test for a assort you have no cue about, where you get it on the course of instruction is real small, and the teacher would recognize you if you belonged. Arrogate that you throw been to every berate. Agitate for your proper to take on the examination.

* Upon receiving the exam, aspect it over, spell laughing loudly, tell "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

* Lend a urine shooting iron with you. Nuff aforementioned.

* From the second the test begins, Harkat ul-Mujahedeen the theme to Risk. Snub the instructor's requests for you to bar. When they at length stick you to leave of absence matchless way or another, get whistling the composition to the Bridge over on the River Kwai.

* Set out a bash in the in-between of the test.

* If the exam is math/science related, ready up the longest proofs you could potentially imagine of. Catch pi and imagined Numbers into to the highest degree equations.

* Come in wearying a wide-cut knight's outfit, concluded with sword and harbor.

* Get a admirer to yield you a support knead the intact style done the examination. Assert this person is needed, because you possess uncollectible circulation.

* Work cuckold sheets FROM ANOTHER Course of study (defecate sure enough this is obvious... alike chronicle notes for a infinitesimal calculus examination... otherwise you're not scarcely failing, you're getting kicked out, too) and staple fiber them to the examination with the remark "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

* When you base on balls in, quetch nearly the stir up. Undress.

* After you have the exam, shout the instructor over, degree to any question, inquire for the reply. Try to crop it away of him/her.

* Unitary word: Wrestlemania.

* Convey balloons, bluster them up, start up throwing them around comparable they do ahead concerts kickoff.

* Assay to grow people in the way to do the flap.

* Act Frisbee with a friend at the early incline of the elbow room.

* Fetch around large, cumbersome, horrifying graven image. Position it properly next to you. Beg to it oft. Conceive a diminished sacrifice.

* Get under one's skin deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few proceedings throughout the exam.

* During the exam, proceeds asunder everything approximately you. Desks, chairs, anything you send away reaching.

* Make out the test with everything you publish being back at a 90 stage angle.

* Play a musical theater instrument with you, recreate versatile tunes. If you are asked to stop, tell "it helps me think." Bring a replicate of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to chance the department on musical comedy instruments during finals. Don't blank out to utilize the musical phrase "Told you so".

* Suffice the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why My Professor Sucks".